You are wondering: What about me? I haven't experienced trauma. I haven't been abused. So why does my vagina close up?
And you start to panic. You search for trauma that does not exist. You wonder whether you are psychologically "blocked". You feel guilty for not having a "good reason" to have vaginismus.
Stop.
Vaginismus is not always linked to trauma. And there may be no hidden trauma for you to uncover.
The myth: "Vaginismus = definitely trauma"
Many women think this because:
- Articles focus a lot on trauma-related vaginismus (it makes a dramatic story)
- Therapists specialising in trauma talk about their cases
- Social media amplifies the most dramatic stories
The result: You think that if you have vaginismus, you MUST have experienced trauma. And if you cannot find any, you feel strange, or you invent some.
The reality: Trauma-related vaginismus accounts for around 30–40% of cases. The remaining 60–70%? Postural, emotional, or a combination.
The 3 real causes of vaginismus (with or without trauma)
1. Postural vaginismus (15–20% of cases)
This is simply chronic tension in the pelvic muscles. No trauma is necessary.
Where it comes from:
- Long-standing poor posture
- Tension in the lower back and buttocks
- A scar that pulls after childbirth
- A pelvic imbalance
- Everyday stress that builds up in the body
Typical features:
- You are tense throughout your body
- You have experienced no trauma, abuse or assault
- Even when your mind is relaxed, your body stays closed
- You make some progress with dilators, then it closes up again
→ It is purely muscular. It has nothing to do with trauma.
2. Emotional vaginismus (30–40% of cases)
This is a fear, an apprehension, a belief that holds you back. Not trauma, just something emotional.
Where it comes from:
- Fear of pain (without having experienced it)
- Shame or guilt around sexuality
- Restrictive religious or family beliefs
- A negative first experience (awkward, uncomfortable), but not an abusive one
- Performance expectations and social pressure
Typical features:
- You have no history of trauma
- You make progress with dilators when you are alone
- As soon as there is pressure (a partner, something at stake), it closes up
- It is a conscious fear, not a phobic reaction
→ It is emotional. It has nothing to do with trauma.
3. Trauma-related vaginismus (30–40% of cases)
This is the nervous system protecting you after sexual trauma. Only this type requires a history of trauma.
Where it comes from:
- Rape, assault, incest, sexual violence
- Childhood sexual abuse
- Domestic violence
Typical features:
- You have a clear history of abuse or assault
- Your reaction goes beyond logic
- Your body refuses, even when your mind says yes
- It is involuntary and intense
→ It is trauma-related. This type requires a history of trauma.
Table: what causes vaginismus WITHOUT trauma?
| Cause | Is it trauma? | Where it comes from | What it is like |
|---|---|---|---|
| Postural | ❌ No | Muscular tension, posture, physical stress | Involuntary muscle contraction |
| Emotional | ❌ No | Fear, shame, beliefs, a negative (non-abusive) first experience | An emotional switch turning off |
| Trauma-related | ✅ Yes | Rape, assault, incest, abuse, violence | A protective response from the nervous system |
Why you think you have experienced trauma (when you have not)
If you have no clear trauma, you may be one of those people searching the past to "explain" vaginismus.
Here is what happens:
You have an awkward first sexual experience → it hurts or feels uncomfortable → you develop a fear of it → your body closes up.
That is not trauma. It is an emotional fear.
But because you have read that "vaginismus = trauma", you reinterpret your history. And suddenly, that awkward first experience becomes "not really consensual" or "violent". You amplify it in retrospect.
Stop looking for trauma that does not exist.
If you have not experienced clear abuse, assault, rape or incest, you probably do not have sexual trauma. You probably have:
- A postural contraction
- An emotional fear
- Or both
And this is treated very differently from trauma.
How to tell whether it is postural or emotional (without trauma)
If it is postural:
- ✅ You are tense throughout your body, not just in your vagina
- ✅ Even when your mind is completely relaxed (on holiday, meditating), your body stays closed
- ✅ You have lower back tension, tight buttocks and poor posture
- ✅ A physiotherapist has identified postural problems
- ✅ You have no conscious fear — your body closes up for no "logical" reason
→ Solution: Pelvic floor physiotherapy, osteopathy, postural work
If it is emotional:
- ✅ You make progress with dilators when you are alone, with no pressure
- ✅ As soon as a partner is there, or you think about "real" intercourse, it closes up
- ✅ You have a conscious fear: fear of pain, shame, guilt
- ✅ It is a psychological switch — as soon as pressure arrives, it turns off
- ✅ The rest of your body is relaxed
→ Solution: Emotional work (EFT, coherent breathing, sex therapy)
If it is a combination:
- ✅ You are physically tense AND have an emotional fear
- ✅ The two reinforce each other
→ Solution: Both approaches alongside each other
What you are not being told: vaginismus without trauma is very common
Around 60–70% of vaginismus cases are not linked to trauma.
But these cases are discussed less. Why?
Because:
- It is less "dramatic" than surviving rape and rebuilding your life
- Therapists specialising in trauma talk about their trauma patients
- Clickbait articles love dramatic stories
- Social media amplifies extreme cases
The result: You think vaginismus = trauma. And you start looking for trauma that does not exist.
Why the distinction matters
Because the solution is completely different.
For postural vaginismus:
- Physiotherapy, osteopathy, postural work
- No trauma psychotherapy
- No dilators on their own
For emotional vaginismus:
- Emotional work, EFT, coherent breathing
- Sex therapy
- No trauma-specialist physiotherapy
- Dilators can help gradually
For trauma-related vaginismus:
- Trauma treatment: EMDR, hypnosis, specialist therapy
- NO dilators until the trauma has been treated
- Then gradually becoming comfortable again
If you are searching for trauma that does not exist, you may be seeing the wrong professionals. And you remain stuck.
The essential point: you do not need trauma to have vaginismus
Tell yourself this:
I haven't experienced trauma. I don't need to invent any. My vaginismus is real, but its cause is different. And once I identify it, I can resolve it.
You may be blocked by your posture — it is physical, and it can be resolved.
You may be emotionally blocked — it is a fear, and it can be resolved.
You may be both — it can be resolved.
But you are not "broken" because there is no abuse in your history.
Clear solutions (without trauma)
For postural vaginismus (without trauma):
- See a pelvic floor physiotherapist
- Work on your overall posture
- Add osteopathy if needed
- Yes, dilators can help ALONGSIDE postural work
For emotional vaginismus (without trauma):
- Identify your fear: what is really holding you back?
- Do emotional work: EFT, coherent breathing
- Seek sex therapy to gradually become comfortable again
- Dilators can help gradually, without forcing anything
If it is both:
The same strategy, alongside each other. Physiotherapy AND emotional work.
Discover the full methodology in my book Votre Vaginisme : fini l'errance, dénouer le plaisir selon votre profil — you will understand your actual causes.
And if you do not want to face this alone, or would like more personalised support, consultations are available.
📖 Further reading — Scarlett Kaplan's book, Votre Vaginisme: the most comprehensive French-language reference on vaginismus.