I no longer offer consultations for premature ejaculation. This article remains a reading resource; to explore further, I recommend Étienne Vallon’s book.

If you have looked for solutions to premature ejaculation, you will inevitably have come across Kegels. Online, in health magazines, on YouTube, sometimes even from your physiotherapist: ‘Contract your pelvic floor. Hold for 10 seconds. Release. Repeat. Three sets of fifteen, three times a day.’

You tried it. Perhaps for weeks. Perhaps for months.

And there is a high chance that you noticed things getting worse. Not better. Worse. Even faster ejaculation. Pelvic discomfort after ejaculation. A less stable erection.

You did not do it badly. You did exactly what you were told. The problem is that you were told the wrong thing. This article explains why — and, above all, what to do instead.

The real origins of Kegels (and why they matter)

Arnold Kegel was an American gynaecologist. In the 1940s, he developed a series of exercises to help women restore pelvic floor function after childbirth. The problem he was treating: a weakened, stretched, hypotonic pelvic floor that no longer properly supported the bladder or uterus.

His solution: contract the pelvic floor, strengthen it and restore its tone. Logical for a muscle lacking tone.

Fifty years later, someone thought of repurposing them for premature ejaculation. Apparently logical — ‘if the pelvic floor controls ejaculation, strengthening it must improve control’. It seems obvious.

It is a logical error.

The problem for most men: a pelvic floor that is too tense, not too weak

Here is what clinical practice observes — and what research on male pelvic pain has confirmed for twenty years: in the vast majority of men who ejaculate too quickly, the pelvic floor is not weakened. It is hypertonic. Too contracted. Permanently locked.

A hypertonic pelvic floor is the exact opposite of the female postnatal pelvic floor. It is a muscle that no longer knows how to relax. That stays on alert 24 hours a day. That contracts whenever it is called upon — stress at work, physical effort, the beginning of sexual arousal. And because it is already tense, it triggers the ejaculatory reflex at a much lower level of arousal than normal.

Strengthening a muscle that is already too tense makes the problem worse. It is like asking someone with tight shoulders to lift them even higher towards their ears. Like asking someone whose fists are clenched at rest to clench them even harder.

When Kegels are prescribed for a man with hypertonicity — the most common situation in sex therapy practice — they systematically worsen:

  • Premature ejaculation itself (the threshold drops further)
  • Pelvic discomfort after ejaculation
  • Pelvic floor stiffness in daily life (effects on posture and back pain)
  • Sometimes erection stability (because an overly tense pelvic floor interferes with blood flow to the penis)

And the man, diligently following the advice, concludes: ‘Even the exercises do not work. I’m finished.’

No. You are not finished. You are working in the wrong direction.

How to know whether your pelvic floor is hypertonic or hypotonic

Before any pelvic floor exercise, the first useful question is: where is your pelvic floor today?

Here are the typical signs of a hypertonic pelvic floor (tense — the majority situation in men with PE):

  • You clench your jaw at night (bruxism, a mouthguard prescribed by the dentist, jaw pain on waking)
  • Chronic muscle tension: raised shoulders, a tense neck, upper-back pain, tension headaches
  • Subtle urinary difficulties: a stream that is slow to start or sometimes hesitant, a feeling of incomplete emptying
  • Pelvic discomfort after ejaculation or during physical effort
  • You have masturbated quickly since adolescence, with a tight grip and a sense of urgency
  • You tighten your buttocks or abdominals without noticing in daily life
  • You ejaculate faster when stressed, tired or with a new partner (the nervous system is even more alert)
  • You tend to hold your breath without noticing, or breathe into your chest rather than your belly

If three or four of these signs resonate, you are very likely hypertonic. And Kegels are contraindicated for you, at least as a first approach.

Signs of a hypotonic pelvic floor (rare in men with PE, but it does occur):

  • Following recent prostate surgery
  • Advanced ageing with general muscle loss
  • An extremely sedentary lifestyle
  • Stress urinary leakage (when coughing or sneezing)
  • A feeling of heaviness in the lower abdomen
  • None of the hypertonic signs above

If this describes you, yes, conventional Kegels may help. But that is the exception, not the rule. In any case, a pelvic floor physiotherapy assessment with a practitioner specialising in men can distinguish the two in one session.

The exercise to do instead: the Reverse Kegel

If you are hypertonic — as most are — the priority exercise is not contracting. It is learning to release. This is called the Reverse Kegel.

Anatomically, it is the exact opposite of a conventional Kegel. Instead of drawing the pelvic floor upwards (contraction), you let it descend towards the floor, open and lengthen. You unlearn its chronic tension.

Neurologically, it is also the opposite: rather than stimulating voluntary control (the motor system), you release control (the parasympathetic system — the relaxation branch of the autonomic nervous system). You teach your body to stop monitoring.

The full method is explained in a dedicated article — Reverse Kegels for men: the exercise for premature ejaculation your urologist probably has not shown you. Read it if you recognise the hypertonic profile. It is the first-line exercise for most men with PE.

Even when Kegels are indicated for you — they are poorly taught

There is an important nuance. Even when conventional Kegels are relevant for a man (the rare cases of true hypotonia), the way they are taught online, or even by some physiotherapists, is almost always wrong.

Three very common mistakes:

Mistake 1: holding the contraction too long. ‘Hold for 10 seconds.’ For a deep muscle, that is too long. Beyond 3–4 seconds, contraction quality deteriorates and you begin recruiting compensating muscles (buttocks, abdominals, thighs). You are no longer strengthening the pelvic floor; you are adding muscular noise.

Mistake 2: no release between repetitions. An effective contraction requires a complete release between repetitions. If you perform three sets of fifteen without releasing, you are actually training a permanent contraction — exactly what you do not want.

Mistake 3: no coordination with breathing. The pelvic floor and respiratory diaphragm work together. Inhaling (the diaphragm descends) = the pelvic floor descends. Exhaling = the pelvic floor rises. Doing Kegels while holding your breath, or against its rhythm, throws the whole system out of sync and teaches the body poor coordination.

If you are indeed hypotonic and Kegels are indicated, do them correctly: a maximum 3-second contraction, 6 seconds of complete release, synchronised with breathing (contract on the exhale, release on the inhale), and no more than 10–15 repetitions per session. And work with a physiotherapist specialising in the male pelvic floor — who can manually assess your baseline tone, identify whether other muscles are compensating and adjust the prescription.

Identifying your profile: the question that changes everything

Everything above is guidance, not a recipe. The right exercise depends on your clinical profile. Premature ejaculation does not have a single cause — it has several distinct profiles. Each calls for different work.

Profile A — Situational. Your PE occurs mainly in certain contexts (a new partner, stress, tiredness) and not others. Your pelvic floor may be normal — the priority is to address the context (performance anxiety, presence) rather than the pelvic floor itself.

Profile B — Generalised. Your PE is present in all circumstances. This profile most often overlaps with pelvic hypertonicity. Reverse Kegels + jaw work + abdominal breathing take priority.

Profile C — Anxious / post-traumatic. Your PE developed after years of humiliating experiences. Hypervigilance, catastrophic anticipation. The priority is less the pelvic floor than emotional regulation (EMDR, EFT, sometimes temporary medication support).

This A/B/C typology, with subprofiles, is detailed in my book Sortir de votre éjaculation précoce — Durer plus longtemps en habitant son corps (French edition). Before doing any exercise, the questionnaire takes 5 minutes and guides the rest of the work. It is the essential minimum — and what many men miss when they rush into Kegels because the internet says they are the solution.

The ‘teeth test’ — a free mini-assessment

If you want an immediate indication of a hypertonic profile, try the following test. Sit calmly. Breathe in gently. Now clench your teeth hard, really hard, for three seconds. While your teeth are clenched, try to relax your pelvic floor.

You cannot do it.

Or, more precisely: you can clearly feel that while the jaw is locked, the pelvic floor cannot relax. The two are connected through the autonomic nervous system. When one is on alert, so is the other.

If this test resonates — if you feel that your jaw is habitually clenched and that this clenching holds your whole body in tension — you fit the hypertonic profile. Kegels harm you. Reverse Kegels + jaw work are your tools.

The full article on the jaw–PE link is here: Why your jaw matters when you ejaculate too quickly.

Why Kegels are still recommended despite all this

If Kegels are contraindicated for most men with PE, why are they still recommended everywhere?

Four reasons, none glorious, but all real:

1. A legacy from women’s care. Kegels work wonderfully for women after childbirth. Nobody asked whether the physiology is the same in men with PE. Spoiler: it is not.

2. Simple instructions. ‘Contract the muscle.’ Easy to say, easy for the patient to do, easy for the practitioner to prescribe. ‘Learn to release what you are contracting without knowing it’ is cognitively more demanding — and takes several sessions to teach properly.

3. A lack of specialist training for men. Male pelvic floor rehabilitation is underdeveloped in France. Many physiotherapists working with PE originally trained in women’s care and apply the same protocols to men. This is gradually changing, but slowly.

4. The PE industry profits from simple promises. Mobile apps, intra-anal devices, €9 ebooks — the promise ‘strengthen your pelvic floor and you will last longer’ sells. ‘Learn to inhabit your body differently’ sells less easily.

The approach I used with men with PE in practice

For transparency, here is the typical sequence I used with a man seeking support for PE with a hypertonic profile B:

Weeks 1–2: developing body awareness. Jaw check-ins several times a day. Abdominal breathing lying down, 5 minutes each evening. No pelvic floor exercises. The idea is simply to feel what a less tense body is like — many men have forgotten.

Weeks 3–6: introducing Reverse Kegels lying down, 5 minutes a day. No more. No conventional Kegels. The aim is to learn to release this area at will.

Weeks 7–10: gradual integration — releasing the pelvic floor during slow masturbation, then as arousal rises. This is when the ejaculation threshold begins to rise.

Week 10+: moving towards sex with a partner using the same approach, alongside communication with the partner.

There are no conventional Kegels in this sequence. And the results are good over 3–6 months. When a man came to me after a year of conventional Kegels and found his situation had worsened — a frequent occurrence — the first week was devoted to stopping Kegels before the real work could begin.

A recap

If you are reading this article, you probably fit the hypertonic profile. Not absolutely certain — but probable, because this is the profile that predominates in PE consultations.

For this profile:

  • ❌ Conventional Kegels are contraindicated (they make things worse)
  • ✅ Reverse Kegels are the first-line tool
  • ✅ Jaw work is underused
  • ✅ Abdominal breathing is the foundation of everything
  • ✅ A physiotherapist specialising in the male pelvic floor can speed up diagnosis

For the less common hypotonic profile:

  • ✅ Kegels can help, but must be taught correctly (3 sec / 6 sec / synchronised breathing / maximum 15 repetitions / professional support)

Before any exercise, take 5 minutes to identify your A/B/C profile. This is the filter that avoids months of work in the wrong direction.

Further reading:

📖 Knowing what not to do is a beginning. Knowing what to do instead, profile by profile, is the purpose of Sortir de votre éjaculation précoce, available on Amazon in French.

Scarlett Kaplan is a sex therapist in Paris. Her practice brings together body-based work (pelvic floor, jaw, breathing), psychological support and couples work around one principle: presence repairs what performance breaks.