There is no single way you have to tell your story

There may have been a before. A time when your body felt like your own, when you could be touched without everything closing down inside. Or perhaps your story does not divide so neatly. We start with what is true for you.

Perhaps you have never spoken about what happened. Perhaps you did, and it was played down. You were told it was ‘normal’. Or someone imposed words that did not fit your experience.

You do not necessarily want to forget. Perhaps you want to feel less overwhelmed, have an intimate life you choose, and be able to think about other things. You want to understand in your own words, at the right pace.

You are a whole person, with a story that goes beyond the violence you experienced. In sessions, there is room for what hurts, and also for your wishes, your relationships and what you want to build.

What you feel deserves to be heard

Perhaps you freeze when someone touches you. Your pelvis tenses, your throat tightens or your breath catches. Perhaps images return during intimacy, or simply when someone comes close.

Sometimes you feel nauseous, want to run away, or feel an unease that is hard to name. Or you may feel absent instead: you are there without feeling fully present.

These descriptions are not a checklist you have to recognise yourself in. You can bring whatever you feel, even if it is confusing, changeable or hard to explain. I take your experience seriously without imposing a ready-made explanation.

When previous support has not helped

You may already have sought help. An examination found nothing, or talking helped in some ways without easing what happens during intimacy. You may be tired of having to tell your story again.

Perhaps you have tried to push through, for your partner or to feel ‘normal’. Or you have put relationships, desire, or the whole subject to one side.

We look at what you have tried, what supported you and what made things harder. You do not have to force your body or justify how much time you need.

Difficult childbirth, the postnatal period and sexuality

‘What matters is that the baby is well.’ That sentence can leave very little room for what you went through. Procedures without explanation, pain that was not heard, an emergency intervention or a sense of powerlessness may remain central to your story.

You can love your baby deeply and experience this period with anger, sadness or fear. Perhaps you had waited a long time for this moment and feel as though you are going through it disconnected from yourself.

You worry about what your baby picks up on. You grieve for the birth or postnatal period you had imagined. We can make room for these contradictions without asking you to replace what you feel with gratitude.

The need for a medical procedure does not erase your experience. We do not need to settle whether it was justified in order to hear your distress and make space for it.

A space where your voice matters

I am Scarlett Kaplan, a sex therapist and couples therapist. I see clients in Paris 14 and online. My work includes the questions sexual violence can raise in your relationship with your body, desire and intimate life.

My role is to welcome you without judgement, remain present and work with you. You do not have to protect me from your story, or say more than you want to.

We can begin even if you do not have the words. A detailed account of what happened is not a condition of the work.

How we work

We move at your pace. You say things as they come, in your own order. We take time to understand what brings you here today and what you hope for from the support.

  • Putting words to what remains confusing: reactions you do not understand, having stayed, gone back or not spoken about what happened.
  • Making room for shame, guilt and anger, including towards people you expected to protect you.
  • Talking about what you miss today: trust, time, a relationship with your body, or an experience you wish had been different.
  • Looking at painful beliefs about yourself without treating them as facts.
  • Working on your boundaries: recognising what feels right, expressing a refusal or a request, and noticing when you put yourself last.

Depending on your situation, I may suggest talking, gentle body-based exercises or approaches such as EMDR, EFT and hypnosis. We discuss each suggestion, how it may be relevant to you and your limits. No approach is imposed on you.

We stay attentive to how you experience the sessions. Pausing, adjusting or approaching something differently is part of the work. The aim is to give you more choice in your relationship with yourself and with intimacy.

Your partner’s place

If you wish, a partner can join some sessions. An attentive presence, someone who listens to your boundaries and seeks to understand, can have a place in this process.

We can talk about gestures, words or situations that work for you, and those you do not want. Your partner can ask questions and learn to support you without pushing.

You are doing this work for yourself. You can also come on your own: being in a relationship or having a supportive partner is not a condition for starting.

A few starting points

  • Do I have to tell everything? You choose what you share. The work does not depend on a complete account.
  • Can I come years later? You can seek support now for the effects you are experiencing now.
  • What if I feel nothing? We can begin with that sense of absence, without deciding in advance what it means.
  • How many sessions? We agree a pace together and review the work as we go. No duration or outcome is promised.