Your body is speaking. What is happening for you?

Sometimes, it closes up or contracts. You feel desire, but your sensations do not follow. Sometimes, the desire is there and you would like to understand more about what you enjoy. Sometimes, you no longer feel very much and wonder why.

There may be pain, fear or pressure. Or a wish to explore something no one has ever taught you about. Your experience is where we begin.

What you are experiencing deserves to be understood

A sexual difficulty does not make you broken, inadequate or less worthy of love. Nor is it simply a lack of willpower.

I do not start with a single explanation. We look at what you feel, your history, your expectations, the context of your relationships and what is happening in your body.

You can also come when your sex life is going quite well. Wanting more understanding, sensation or freedom is a valid reason. You do not have to prove there is a problem to be allowed to explore.

What we can work on

  • Curiosity and learning: getting to know your body, your desire and what you enjoy.
  • Vaginismus and sexual pain: when penetration is difficult, impossible or painful, and this causes you distress.
  • Anorgasmia: when orgasm eludes you or pursuing it takes up too much space.
  • Erectile difficulties: understanding your experience when an erection is absent, changes or does not last as you would like.
  • Low or absent desire: exploring your experience without imposing a frequency or an expected level of desire.
  • Sexual trauma: working on what continues to affect your relationship with your body, pleasure or intimacy.

Pleasure is part of the work

Pleasure has a place in therapy. You do not have to wait until you have “fixed everything” to take an interest in what feels good.

This does not mean seeking pleasure at any cost. When an experience is frightening or painful, we can start with what feels accessible: a sensation you recognise, a moment when you feel comfortable, a boundary you manage to express.

We look for what suits you now, without a performance goal. What feels good to someone else may not feel good to you. What suits you one day may be different the next.

When curiosity is your main reason for coming, the work can focus directly on getting to know your body, your desires and your ways of exploring. We do not need to look for a block where you are not experiencing one.

Pressure, sensations and context

The fear of disappointing someone, anticipating pain, ideas about what should happen: we take time to look at the part these play in your sexuality.

It can be difficult to stay open to your sensations when you are monitoring everything you do. We can look for ways to reduce this pressure and recognise the moments when you feel more at ease.

This alone does not establish the cause of a difficulty. Your experience deserves careful attention, and medical questions have a place in the process when they arise.

My approach: talking and paying attention to the body

I do not work only with words. We can also pay attention to your breathing, tension, sensations and what you notice during the session.

Understanding your history is one part of the work. Looking for ways to live differently in the present is another.

  • Identifying what is happening: difficult situations, your expectations, the reactions you notice and what you want to change.
  • Taking time to feel: breathing, grounding or body awareness exercises may help you observe your experience.
  • Exploring gradually: each suggestion is explained, discussed and adapted to your limits.
  • Trying things between sessions: if it suits you, I may suggest exercises to continue the work in your daily life.

An exercise is always a suggestion. Together, we look at what it offers you, what is difficult and what needs adjusting.

The space I offer

I do not simply ask you to relax. We look at what makes things difficult and what might help.

I do not offer a technique without considering what it means for you. A tool does not have to be used just because it exists: it needs to have a place in your situation.

You do not have to describe a traumatic experience in detail to be heard. We discuss what you want to explore and the pace at which you can do so.

I do not decide what a normal sexuality would be for you. My role is not to tell you what to desire, with whom or how often. It is to help you understand your experience and make your own choices.

I welcome you without judgement, whether you come about a longstanding block or a question that seems simple to you. We do not need to rank how valid your concerns are.

Why sexuality is at the heart of my work

I am Scarlett Kaplan, sex therapist and therapist. Sexuality is central to my practice: intimate difficulties, but also pleasure, learning and the freedom to choose.

I meet people who have lived with pain or blocks for a long time, and others who simply want to understand their bodies better or enrich their intimate lives.

My role is to make sense of what feels confusing, without reducing you to a difficulty. And to support a process of change in which you remain actively involved.

Tools I may suggest

Tools support the work; they do not define your therapy on their own.

  • Breathing and grounding: taking time to observe your reactions and look for what helps you feel more present.
  • EFT, EMDR or hypnosis: these are among the approaches I may suggest, depending on your situation. We discuss their place in the work and how they unfold.
  • Gradual body-based exercises: suggestions adapted to what you want to explore, explained and chosen together.
  • Sex education: a basis for asking your questions about anatomy, desire, sensations and sexuality.

We review what helps you. You can say that a suggestion does not suit you, ask for an explanation or choose not to continue with it.

How soon might things change?

This depends on your situation, your history and what you hope to gain from the work. I do not promise a set number of sessions or a result within a given time.

We clarify your goals and look at changes over time. Moving forward can take different forms: understanding more, setting a boundary, feeling less afraid of a conversation or rediscovering a sensation you want to explore.

Can I have sessions by video?

Yes. I offer sessions in Paris and online. By video, we can talk, work from your observations and discuss suggestions suited to your situation. We check that this setting gives you the conditions you need to work comfortably.

Do I need to come with my partner?

No. You can come on your own. If you wish, your partner can sometimes have a place in the work, particularly when the difficulty creates tension or you want to explore a subject together.

I have already tried several approaches. Could therapy still be useful?

We can look at what you have already tried, what it has given you and what remains difficult. I will not ask you to start from scratch or regard previous support as useless.

What if I do not really have a problem?

You are welcome. Curiosity, a wish to understand and a desire to explore your sexuality are all sufficient reasons to come.

What if a medical question arises?

Sex therapy does not replace a medical consultation. If your situation calls for it, I will refer you to a doctor. Therapy can be considered alongside the other care you need.